Too busy having fun... getting my life organized.

This week has had it's strange moments but overall I feel like I am starting to get better at things.

Today I went to go see a dietitian to try and actually start the road to being healthy. I decided to be as honest as I possibly could. In doing so, the lovely lady who looked after me today didn't make me feel like I was doing as horribly as I thought. She recognized that I was indeed making an effort, and reminded me that you have to take small steps towards these goals, as trying to do everything at once easily leads to everything falling down.  

Nursing?

I was told by my boss a little while ago that nurses need to be able to do 3 things. 

1. Be compassionate

2. Be caring

3. Be able to look after oneself

She then followed up by saying that I was good with points 1 and 2 and that 3, I had to judge for myself. 

I don't think I look after myself very well. This is partly the reason why I finally got myself an appointment to see someone to follow up about losing weight. The problem is, and the dietitian agreed, I know what I need to do, it is actually get around to it that is the issue. 

If I will be honest here, the issues to do with weight gain started when I was about 13. I remember this because my mother, who had been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes around that time, was telling me that I had to get better at this. She warned me of some of the issues that being overweight could bring socially as well and in fact, some of the issues she mentioned had already started happening at school. So we went to a gym to go sign up and they were very confused that someone my age wanted to join but in my mind, the decision was also to support my mother. Of course, they had to review their rules and put in a policy that said minimum age was 14 year old to join. This, like many other things I have tried to do, did not work for very long. 

Problem is that I have been trying to do everything at once. I have recently noticed that I do it for nearly everything. I always tell people that it'll be fine, that these things take time but then what I do is expect myself to get it perfect first try and do it all. My mother does this all the time. When I was studying she would set herself goals that starting tomorrow she will: quit smoking, follow her diet, go do a huge gym session, cook all the meals for the house, paint the inside of one of the bedrooms, do at least 2 hours worth of gardening, plus try and make sure that her daughter was studying. Anytime one of these things would fall, the rest would fall. It would start off with small cracks but as soon as she would light up a smoke my Dad and I knew that it would get worse before it got better. I am fearful that I do the other thing my mother does when this happens, become very controlling. When things aren't working, she takes hold of one of these goals and puts all her energy into making it work now. Usually, this would land back on the family and cause upset on us. I really hope I don't do that to people and if I do, I'm sorry. 

This isn't a blame to my mother, more of a trait that both share. It has it's advantages just as much as it has it's flaws. It's flaws however, certainly did not help during my adolescence when I was already full of angst. There is no real blame in how I am the way I am. In the end my body is mine and I have the ability to change it. 

What video game are you playing?

I started playing Life is Strange! 

I am really enjoying it. It is a "cinematic game", a story told though the actions of the player with different consequences that are following though the entire game as I play it. Just like real life!

I find the decision making for the story telling very compelling. A lot of the time you have decisions that are based over how much of a dick you want to be to people but some of them, the ones that truly effect the story, have you in a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation. There is one particular scene that sticks in my mind where you have to answer to the principal (and maybe even the police if you had a slightly different story) about an incident where you have to chose who you taddle on. 

I do really enjoy the art style, I will admit that the character models were a bit uncanny valley at first but I have really started to warm to them. Or maybe I have warmed to the characters? Hard to tell. I have found that a lot of what I like about it is the lighting. 

All in all, I recommend this game. I would say though that as much as I like it, if this game is not your cup of tea, jog on. 

Art?

I haven't been doing much but I did do this sketch. Better than nothing, right?

What song have your got stuck in your head?

To all of you - Syd Matters 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cw_0Bxqpc9o

Till next time~

Havra

Another day, another post!

Day 2 here we come~

Nursing? 

I have been thinking a bit over the past few days about the stress that this job brings and ways that I can show that I still am enthusiastic about my job. It has been a little hard when I am tired all the time. It also doesn't help that waking up in the mornings is quite a struggle for me. Not quite sure what to do with that at them moment other than keep showing up to work.

I am also in a mood where I am trying to think of where I want to go do with my degree. Travel is something I would love to do but not for a holiday, to work and live. America always sticks in my mind, lord knows why. I dislike a lot of what I have heard to do with their healthcare system and it makes me wonder if I would be able to work within it. Not to mention the issues that would come from trying to get a work visa. England on the other hand, much more feasible. A lot of Australia's health care is based off of England's structure (and viscera), getting a work visa will be a lot simpler for me and they are also apparently on a call out for nurses from Australia.

Here is the problem, silly heart has given me this somewhat reoccurring dream that I will be able to make the America idea work then magically find myself in California with a nursing job also doing something to do with video games on the side. What video games stuff has depended on the night, some nights it is game development and others it is shout casting. The destination however is eerily consistent. Practical sense though, England has a lot more support for me, I am more familiar with it, relatives live there, work is available, and it has the stuff that I am after anyway. So why America?

The more I type this the more I realize that I want to make moving to another country work, figuring out when is the fun part.

What video games are you playing?

I am still on the Splatoon and Dota 2 train, not much else to report from those. I did however buy the game Life is Strange yesterday, it is downloading at the moment. My friend said he enjoyed it from a storytelling perspective saying that it hit the right notes. I haven't read that much into it so I will report my first impressions when I play it.

Art?

I have been trying to do a bit of art but I feel I have not gotten that far. During the 3am phase I came up with this while listening to Little Person by Jon Brion.

Issue now is I don't really know what else to do with it. I will come back to it when I get a chance.

Watching/Reading anything?

Still watching some AGDQ speedruns! Youtube has provided for those that I missed watching live.

Reading however, I started that search I sometimes do for Shojou manga. I have read about 5 different series in the past day, favorite one being Moe Kare drawn by Ikeyamada Go. Part of what I liked about this one was that is filled all the general things I expect from a shoujo.

It also gave me this amazing page:

The other one that I kinda enjoyed, drawing by the same artist is called Kobayashi ga kawai sugite Tsurai. Now this one is fantastic because it revolves around twins that switch gender roles then fall in love. Big bonus for the male side of it making out with our heroine before they knew that she was cross dressing.

It also had an interesting pairing where the hero was falling in love with a girl who was deaf and was thus learning sign language to communicate better. Was interesting to see how that was drawn. They don't really touch on it often enough but I like it being there.

I should really create a checklist of things I expect these manga's to have then grade them based off of that.


Be warned, I have found some Yaoi to read and I will be talking about that later on.

What song have you got stuck in your head?

Till next time~

Havra